Dr. Mary Oberstein

Happy Anniversary Ron!

When I respond to the question, “How long have you and Ron been married?” I usually get a “Wow, good job!” or “Congratulations!” Saying “thank you” never feels right to me, neither does a high five and chest bumps are always awkward. I mean, it’s not like we won some championship game after a hard fought battle. All we’ve done is hung out with each other almost every single day and night for a few decades. Wait. I need a minute to let that sink in.

You see, I’m a Gemini and I like change. I like “different”. How is it then, I’ve been with the same person for 27 years? Well, Ron and I are not the same people we were on our wedding day. We are not the same people we were last month or yesterday for that matter. We are always changing, evolving, growing and becoming who we were meant to be. We learn new things every day. We challenge ourselves and grow from our experiences. All of those things change who we are. I can create a mental timeline of specific events over the past 27 years where I saw shifts in Ron that seemed to propel him into new dimensions and I was in awe of how seamlessly he would fit into new roles and new dynamics. It was in those moments of seeing the changes in him that I’d have the opportunity to fall in love again with this “new” person who I wanted to learn more about and get closer to. As we grew, our relationship deepened. Somehow, we have managed to grow in the same direction. Our lessons have been different yet our paths have stayed intertwined.

I don’t believe there’s one person for everyone. I believe you find the best person for you and you love them as much as you possibly can. You serve them as much as you can. You work on yourself to be the best version of yourself. When I look at Ron, I see strength, passion, love and a man who is here to make a difference. I see a man who is full of ideas and visions that all have to do with creating a healthier and better world. I also see a man who takes action and turns those ideas into reality. My love for him goes beyond the man…I love his vision, his purpose, his mission…our Life!

Happy Anniversary Ron! 

The Second cut is the deepest! Those of us moms who have delivered babies have all been through it. We HAD to cut the umbilical cord after our babies left our bodies. In our family, we waited to cut the cord until all of the nutrient-filled blood had pumped into our baby and we used a piece of glass to cut the cord (an Indian custom signifying not severing the bond between mother and child with metal). The moment the cord was cut, I felt no pain, no disconnection, no sadness. I felt joy that our newborn was on their own and able to survive in the world without my body, without me. THAT was the first cut!

Fast forward 18 years. College Drop-off #1. Leaving our first daughter, Lauren, at college was not a pretty scene. Ron “the rock” was fine, of course and so happy for her. All of the women in our family were in tears(one of us was still crying on the flight home). Lauren, at first, was not happy to be there and it showed. At one point during that flight home, Ron leaned over to the one person still crying and asked me if I was OK. From behind my sunglasses, I looked at him and said, “I feel as though THE cord has been cut.” Dramatic? Yes. But that’s what it felt like.

Drop-off #2 with our second daughter, Morgan was easy. Our oldest and youngest say it’s because I don’t like her as much. LOL. Truth be told, Morgan was so happy, excited to be where she was, I felt no sadness. There were no tears(lots of hugging though). I was so thrilled for her to begin her new adventure.

Drop-off #3 in Billings, Montana found Sydney and I vacillating between crying and laughing. There were tears, several long hugs followed by laughter and some reassuring words. Driving away from her dorm back to the hotel, I found a silver lining. This is THE last freshman drop-off!

At last count, I’ve done 13 dorm/apartment/house move-ins including decorating with #14 scheduled in the bay area this October. Okay, those are my credentials!

Here’s my advice for parents leaving their kids at college:
#1) Teach your kids how to balance a check book, do laundry and trust their instincts.
#2) Let them go. They all have wings and dreams. You’ve given them Love and Life. Watch them Soar!
#3) Tell them the truth always. If you don’t, you’re not protecting them, you’re simply not trusting them.
#4) “Nothing good ever happens after midnight, especially when alcohol is involved!” was a motto I used frequently.

Oh, one more thing. There is a very good chance your college graduate will be back living in your house at some point so keep that in mind when you’re hugging them goodbye!! Have Fun!

If you are in the people business(meaning you provide a service or products to people), then you are aware that customer service is key in determining the success of your business. We’ve heard it said many times in our chiropractic office that we are a full service office. What does that mean? If you need a real estate agent, a moving company(Above All Movers is the best), travel advice, an auto mechanic, a hair colorist, directions, a call to be made to your cleaners for losing your favorite jeans(THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED), we’ve got it covered! Our motto? We’re here to serve you! We constantly ask ourselves this question, “How can I or we over-serve or over-deliver?” Then, we look for opportunities to do so AND we do it from a place of gratitude.

Besides in your business, your job, your volunteer work, etc., have you ever thought about how you can out-serve/over-serve your friends, your family, your significant other? This concept would not fall under customer service, it deserves a sexier term than that. Sitting here in seat 16D flying home from a retreat in Chicago, I realize one thing that I have been doing for the past thirty-ish years that falls under this unnamed category. If I write someone a card, whether it be a birthday, thank you, congratulatory card, etc., I write something personal and meaningful instead of just signing my name. It’s so easy to think of wonderful things to write about someone you care for. Sometimes, it’s not as easy especially if I don’t know the person well however, I may write about what I’ve heard about them or the reason I look forward to getting to know them better. The point being, if I’m going to give a card, I like to go a little further and write something that will touch that person.  Below is an excerpt from a birthday card I wrote recently for a dear, longtime friend which brought forth as many tears as it did “thank-you’s. She is one of five women, myself included, that have been getting together every month for over 20 years. More on this in a future blog post!

“You truly love unconditionally. You keep us, your friends, “real” and grounded in a way that I still can’t put into words. You inspire me to be more honest just by being so honest yourself. You inspire me to live with that “no holds bar” attitude that has gotten you so far in life.
You’re so easy to honor and write about because you have so many qualities and attributes that are right there on the surface, not hidden deep inside.
YOU are an integral part of this group, our group. You make us funnier and bring out our personalities by doing nothing more than just being yourself. The years have not changed you, they’ve only been gracious to you.
I’ve always felt honored to have a front row seat in your life. I’m always on the edge of my seat for the next chapter because I know it will be the BEST one!”

What would our world be like if we all focused on “serving” one another? What would it be like if we focused on over-serving each other? Can you imagine living in that world? I CAN and I DO! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog!